F3 Knoxville

Stairway to Heaven (If Heaven Is Monkey Humpers)

THE SCENE: Low 30’s. Distinct lack of rain.

25x SSH IC
15x TN Rocking Chair IC
5x Cherry Pickers IC
10x Hindurkins IC
Calfkiller (5 sets of 20 calf raises, punctuated with 25%, 50%, 75%, and AYG runs across the parking lot)


Mosey through the parking lots toward Success Drive entrance.
Stop at steep hill for 7’s: Burpees and Squat Jumps.
Audible after the first trip up the hill… There’s seeding and landscap netting up there!
Mosey on around to a clear hill and continue with 7s

Continue mosey to the Success Drive entrance, Al Gore for the 6 and then 10 Merkins OYO

Head across the street to the alley and stairway behind the strip mall.
Partner up, one PAX at the top, one at the bottom.
Partner at top starts exercise, partner at bottom runs up the stairs and immediately back down.
At the bottom, call for battle buddy by name and do reps of exercise until battle buddy completes stair run and calls.
Stick with same exercise until Q calls out next exercise, at which time upper and lower PAX swap places.
Monkey Humpers
8-count Body Builders

Head back toward the AO…

Stop in front of the Zaxby’s in a well-lit area
Line up on the sidewalk facing the restaurant – 15x 4ct Monkey Humpers IC!

Back across the street… Hey, there’s a pile of bricks! Everyone grab 2 for some impromptu shoulder work!

Finally back to the AO

Just enough time to row our boats gently down the stream a few times…
12 PAX killed it today!
So yesterday had quite a few instances of suck. Nothing awful, but kinda one of those days. Late leaving the house because we had to prep for a last-minute showing. Got a call from Doggy Camp that the dog has diarrhea and needs to go to the vet. Leave work and go sit at the vet for a couple hours. Turns out she’s contagious and can’t go back for a week, so there goes my lunch for the next week. Take her home, back to work, stay late, come home, clean up diarrhea…

I say all that not to have a pity party for me, but to point out kind of how minor all that stuff is in the big picture… However, the biggest suck turned out to be my attitude. I was convicted by something I saw on Facebook of all places. Just a little platitude on a cloud background, but it was appropriate, and it rang true: You can’t always choose your circumstances, but you CAN always choose how you react to them. I had reacted poorly. Selfishly. I didn’t come out and blow up in some way I would regret later, but I just seethed away inside. It’s pride. It’s sin. And it just eats away at your soul, taking your eyes off the mark.

So don’t let things control you. Take control. Choose how you react when the crap hits the fan (or splatters on the wall, as the case may be).

Bittersweet Q this morning… It’s great to lead a great group of HIMs, but hate that the opportunity came at Bagger’s expense. Speedy recovery to you, Sir!
Town of Farragut Shamrock Ball (father/daughter).
Official launch coming up for the Quacken (Fountain City) coming March 1

I Love Hate You, Man

THE SCENE: 50 or so. Hot and muggy. Also really dark, because clouds and new moon.

SSH x20
Windmill x15
CMU Hop-Over x20 OYO
Cherry Picker x8 IC
Round-the-blocks Merkins (1 lap)
Pass-the-CMU 1 round each direction


Mosey down around the outhouse and back up by the grassy area.

Pair up, one PAX does traveling exercise, other does specified reps of stationary exercise, then goes to relieve traveling PAX wherever they are. Alternate between the two stationary exercises until time called, then move on to the next Travel/Stationary grouping

Traveling Stationary
Bear Crawl w/ CMU 20 Curls
20 Tri Ext.
Crab Walk w/ CMU 20 Merkins
20 Big Boy Situps
Farmer Carry 2 CMU 20 Squats
20 Carolina Dry Docks
Blockee Broad Jump 5 8-Count Body Builders
20 Tri Ext.

Once more around the outhouse, then back up to the AO

Just enough time for 5 Pullover-situp-standup with CMU
12 Men today… All disciples I pray!
Just a practical word today for your health and those around you: wash your hands. 2.0 and half of her school are out sick….
I planned on running this Q up on the soccer field across the street, but it was so dark I couldn’t see the cones when they were 10 feet away.
Oh well… Whatever kind of grass that is near the AO smells pretty nice. I guess it’s whatever they put on there to cover up the odor of the dog excrement…
Thanks to Mayberry for today’s title. Definitely appreciated the “I love hate you right now, Waxjob” toward the end of the beatdown.
Signup for Hardship Hill!!!! (YHC too)
The Project AO launch in Oak Ridge was today… Tell your friends!


THE SCENE: Plenty of gloom. Rain and 30s, temp steadily dropping.

SSH x20 IC
Mountain Parkers x15 IC
Tempo Merkins x10 IC
One-hand 6-count Body Builders (skip the pushup) x5 IC (each arm)
Ice Skaters x20 each leg OYO
Hindurkins x10 IC

Mosey back to my car because I forgot to take my wallet out of my pocket

Mosey to the base of the Matterhorn, circle up for 15x Tempo Squats IC, continue to the Pavalon
Escalator style circuit:
20 Merkins
20 Mountain Climbers
20 Squat Rolls
20 V-ups
20 Travoltas
20 Crabettes

When done, make one lap around the Pavalon doing full step-ups (watch your head!) on the picnic table benches. Left leg on the out, right leg on return.
Repeat circuit, dropping the Crabettes. Another pavalon lap, this time Groucho-walking one leg on the benches.

R&R until done, mosey back to the AO through the big wet flakes of snow.

30x 4-count LBCs (well, Mayberry did half-Imperial Walkers holding an umbrella), enjoy the view of the falling snow!
6 PAX braved the Snowpocageddonlypse to get better this morning. Welcome back Unibrau, and congrats on the new job!
Isn’t it “funny” how God often brings opposites together and makes them spouses? Sometimes those differences are just that – differences that are neither bad nor good, and we learn to live and love despite them. Sometimes those differences are things that God uses to highlight something in your heart that needs to change. I have a tendency to snap judgment about people that I don’t know, with very little compassion. That guy pulling a U-turn around the median? What a moron… He should learn to drive. The guy on the news that hit a telephone pole at 100mph? Deserved it. But once I get to know someone, and they have a face and a name, I tend to give them the benefit of the doubt. My wife, on the other hand, lets me know that my snap judgements are unacceptable behavior. She has that compassion for the nameless, faceless person that I lack. But, in contrast, she has the tendency to fear the worst about the motivations of the behavior of people that she knows and loves. So take a look at yourself… If you’re like either of us, ask God to work on your heart, to give you compassion for those you don’t know, and trust and grace for those you do.
I was definitely hoping for a bit more white and less wet, but any day that starts with HIMs like these is a great one.
Alcoa CSAUP on 2/9! Check GroupMe for more info.

2-Mile Truckstop Tour

THE SCENE: A lovely 28 degree morning… The swamp is fully flooded from the recent rain, but the pavement is dry. A few ice patches over the paths…

SSH x20 IC
TN rocking chair x15 IC
Mountain Parkers x15 IC (Mountain climbers, except opposite knee-to-elbow)
Crabettes x15 IC
LBAC Fwd x10, Rev x10
That woulda been it, but then Sparky arrived, needed to make sure he was warmed up.
15 more Mountain Parkers IC
20 cards with 10 different exercises have been distributed over a 2 mile course.
Each card also has a #1 or a #2. PAX with F3 name A-M are #1, N-Z are #2.
PAX mosey as a group along the course, taking turns flipping the card as they arrive.
If the number of the PAX who flips the card matches the number on the card, double the reps!
Additionally, four “You guys are screwed” tokens were distributed to trustworthy PAX.
When a token is played, add a repeat of the previous station to the current station.

The final station – Slalom bear crawl under the guard rail by the Watt Rd. soccer field

Made it back to the AO just in time for about 3 rounds of Row your Boat
12 HIMs plus one giraffe
Since my 2.0 goes to a Christian school, she has a verse to memorize nearly every week, and has ever since kindergarten. We’ve always used the drive time to school to learn that verse together. I really appreciate the time to dwell on the Word and let it sink in.
This week’s passage was Jeremiah 29:11-14. Verse 11 is pretty popular, but the one that caught me was verse 13: “You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” We’re all seeking God, whether we know it or not. Everyone is looking to fill that hole that only He can. Seek Him with all your heart, and He’s promised that you will find Him.
Shoulda started my watch when I laid out the course… Only got credit for half the miles I ran this morning!
Thanks to everyone who brought snacks for Wesley House. Delivery this week!

Bad Customer Service

THE SCENE: Somewhere in the 50s… Rain sort of tapering off… Maybe?

SSH x25 IC
Hindurkins x10 IC
Cossack Squats x20 IC
TN Rocking Chair x15 IC
Travoltas x10 each arm IC

Insert information about the workout.
Everyone retrieves one 2-hand pee rock and two 1-hand pee rocks. Leave 2-hand pee rocks at the “service desk”
Time to try to return those crappy Christmas gifts, but of course you have no receipt!
Split into three lines, about 15yd from the “service desk”.
First man in line grovels to the desk (bear crawl w/ 2 1-hand rocks or snowplow w/ 2-hand)
Leave “gift” at the desk, but you get the runaround since you have no receipt (run around the outhouse)
Return to the desk to pick up your exchange (swap 2-hand for 1-hand or vice-versa)
Go to the back of your line and start doing the next exercise in the list.

2-Hand Exercises:
Tri Extension

1-Hand Exercises
Lateral Raises
Rocky Marciano

Stood in line for too long!
11 strong… Well, 10 strong and 1 weak. Trying to fight off a cold…
So we probably all got at least one crappy gift this Christmas. But remember to thank God for his unspeakable gift – Never the wrong size, needed by all.
2 Cor. 9:15 – Thanks be to God for his inexpressible gift!

Left an alternate Q in chalk up at the Pavalon in case it was more rainy… We’ll give that one a go next time!
Prayers for Mayberry’s Grandfathers – both in the hospital.

Checkin’ it Twice

THE SCENE: Errathang is pretty wet, but temp is nice, around 35.  The sun is deciding whether or not to get up with us…

Good ol’ Zero Burpee Warmup:
Zero burpees OYO
2 burpees OYO
10 Tie Fighters (fwd and back)
4 burpees OYO
10 Merky Derkys OYO
(Some bonus SSH waiting for Fins to get to the AO)
6 burpees OYO
15 Tennessee Rocking Chair IC
8 burpees OYO
10 Travoltas each side IC
10 burpees

Insert information about the workout.
Everybody grab a CMU and head to the Fountain of Youth.
Drop half the CMUs there and head up the Northeast face of Crumpet to the Christmas tree.
Partner up
One partner heads back down Crumpet, picks up a CMU and carries it a lap around the fountain before heading back up Crumpet. Meanwhile Partner 2 is checking the list… Does the first exercise AMRAP until partner relieves. Once both partners have checked the first exercise, move to the next one:
-Goblet Squats
-Tricep Extension
-Merky Derky

List checked twice! Gather CMUs and head back to the AO
40 4-ct Flutters IC
20 4-ct LBC IC
4x Row your Boat

5 PAX this morning. Kudos to Pinocchio for pre-ruck and staying for the beatdown. Pup and Squiggly got in 10+ but couldn’t stay.
Holidays are here. We associate holidays with good times, relaxing, watching football, etc, but this holiday season before you veg out on the couch look around and make sure there’s not someone busy working to make your holiday better. Step up and join in. You’ll be glad you did!
Small crowd today… Wherever you are, find a way to get better every day!
Merry Christmas!

These CMUs ain’t geofenced!

THE SCENE: About 28 degrees. A few white specks wafting in on the breeze…First snow beatdown of the season!

25x SSH IC
10x Windmills IC
10x Tempo Merkins IC (last few niice and slow)
10x Travoltas each arm

Mosey over to the coupon pile, stopping halfway for 20x BBS OYO
Snag a Travelling Companion and continue on around toward the duck pond.
Stop at the parking lot just shy of the pond for OYO:
30 Overhead CMU Pulls
30 Merky-Derky (audibled to 20…)
30 Curls
Flutters for the six
Merky-Derky: Hands on CMU – one merkin. Bear crawl forward to feet on CMU – one derkin. Crawl bear to starting position. That’s one (sadistic count) or 2 (wussy count). We went with the wussy count and still audibled to 20. Those suck!
Resume traveling, past the buildings and up the hill. Gather for more OYO:
30 CMU Squats
30 4-count Mtn Climbers
30 more Curls
Flutters for the six

At this point, YHC realized there was no way we were gonna make it all the way across the street to that big set of stairs… Almost got the Travelling Companions off campus, but not quite. Turn around and head back, stop at the little set of stairs for Dora:
300 Calf Raises, 200 LBCs, 100 8-count Body Builders, running partner carries one CMU up the stairs, runs back down, carries other CMU up, then carries both down and tags partner.

Only a couple of pairs even made it to the body builders before we ran out of time.
Head back to return Companions to their home, then book it to the AO. Arrived 2 minutes late (sorry guys).

None due to poor time management by the Q.
13 this fine Wednesday, including one FNG – Welcome Teller (Daniel Tanner)!
I’ve mentioned this one before, but I need reminding of it myself pretty often: Eph. 5:25 – Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Not just his ultimate sacrifice on the cross, but daily, in every action. Extreme patience with his mule-headed disciples. Gathering the sick and lame to himself, even when he had just walked miles from another town or crossed the the sea all night under a raging storm in a rickety little boat. That’s giving yourself. How will you follow that example today?
Our Companions really slowed down travel… We can get to the Coupons or we can get to the stairs across the street, but definitely not both! Even without getting there, it still felt like a lot more running than I intended. PAX killed it anyway though with no [audible] cussing…
Don’t forget 3rd F on Saturday morning! Check GroupMe for the deets…

Too dang hot!

THE SCENE: Like 32 degrees. I thought it was supposed to be 22? I dressed out way too warm.
(Had to yell it a bit so the PAX straggling in could hear)

0 Burpees
25 SSH
2 Burpees
10 HR Merkins
4 Burpees
20 Cossack Squats
6 Burpees
15 Crabettes
8 Burpees
15 LBAC fwd, 15 backward
(skip the 10 burpees… pretty sure we’ll make ’em up)

Mosey to the Ampitheater for the Memory beatdown game.
PAX take turns flipping 2 cards. If the cards don’t match, all PAX do BOTH exercises.
If the cards match they’re removed, and PAX just do that exercise followed by running a lap around the outside of the ampitheater.

The cards:
15 Merkins
15 Dry Docks
10 Iron Mikes (each leg)
10 Squat jump
10 Burpees
15 Monkey Hump 4ct
20 Mtn Climber 4ct
Bear Crawl to light pole, Crawl Bear back
20 Flutter Kicks 4ct
20 Big Boys

Managed to clear the Dry Docks, Iron Mikes, Squat Jumps, Burpees, and Mountain Climbers. Not bad for a weekday beatdown

Had to AYG across the field to get back to the AO in time… No Mary today.
12 strong today, no FNGs. (No tag for Crawlspace)
Ps 37:4 – Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Not what your (own selfish, sinful) heart desires, but His desires for you will be planted in your heart. You will desire what He desires, and we know that His knowledge and love for us are perfect.
This might be the last time for the Memory game cards… Or maybe not.
12/8: 3rd F at the Overlook. Praise for the birth of Cowbell’s daughter!

Brand New Beatdown, No Waiting

THE SCENE: Mid-30s, clear and brisk! YHC had to ditch the sweatshirt after pre-ruck.

Classic Zero-Burpee warmup
0 Burpees OYO
2 Burpees OYO
25 Mtn Climbers IC
4 Burpees OYO
15x LBAC IC fwd/back
6 Burpees OYO
10 Hand Release Merkins
8 Burpees OYO
16 Buddy the Elf IC
10 Burpees OYO

Mosey to the Coupon Pile, stopping halfway for 20 4-ct LBCs

2 CMUs each for Rock the Block Merkins

Ditch one and carry the other to the parking lot
Line up CMUs between 2 cones – 2 more cones set 60yd away.
Battle buddy up. One partner runs to the closest CMU and does 3 Blockee Broad Jumps to advance the block, then returns to relieve partner.
Meanwhile, other partner is doing work. Continuous reps while partner is gone, switching to next exercise with each trip:
Iron Mikes
Mountain Climbers
Keep alternating until all CMUs have passed the 60yd mark

Carry CMUs back to the pile, but circle up for a quick ring of fire with tricep extensions. Start with 1, go to 5.

Mosey back to the AO.
Oh, wait… that last stretch between stop signs? Let’s Burpee Broad Jump that section. Because YHC really doesn’t want to do that.
Just enough time for about three rounds of Row Your Boat
6 HIMs skipped the sales and came for a Free.99 beatdown instead!
Isaiah 40:30-31:
Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.

Like Bagger earlier this week, we’re working on patience in my home. The big one for us regards the (hopefully) sale of our house. We’ve done what we can do, and now we wait for His time. But that waiting is not just passive, it’s active. Intentionally giving it to Him and His wisdom to work out in His time.

Thanks, Doubtfire for coming out for the pre-ruck!
Mend house workout Monday at 6.

T-Ruck Stop

THE SCENE: About 30, but no wind so it’s pretty nice.
F3 WELCOME & DISCLAIMER Oops… Kinda skipped it a little bit. (slap self on wrist)

Deconstructed Body Builders:
10x 4-ct Plank Jacks
10x 4-ct Ruck Merkins
10x Tempo Squats
Reconstructed Body Builders
10x 8-ct Body Builders
Definitely warm now.
Ruck a lap w/ 60lb sandbag, swapping halfway.
Stop at the Cesspool
20x Ruck Merkins
50yd Bear Crawl with Ruck Drag
25x Upright Ruck Rows (bring ruck up to chin)
50yd Crab Walk, ruck in front. Fwd, backward, and sideways
30x Squats
Ruck another lap
Stop at the bleacher/stairs
Half the PAX holds a plank with feet on bleachers.
Other half the PAX carries both rucks and sandbag to top of hill
Planking PAX drop to low plank while carrier descends.
Swap roles and repeat
10x Ruck Derkins
25x Upright Ruck Rows (sounds like Scooby Doo)
20x Squats
Ruck one more lap back to the parking lot
Insert information about any additional post-THANG work (if applicable).
Crap… Forgot to count off. Therefore, not sure how many showed up this morning…
Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.
Alcoa Service Action tomorrow with Habitat. Also, F3 Chattanooga launch!